I cried. I blogged.

I told you the other day about how I cried at BlogHer…. twice. This time, is much more embarrassing than me crying because of a movie.  I mentioned that I didn’t want to seem lazy but I also felt like that was one heck of a teaser. So know that I haven’t done anything about it yet… and there is a reason for that… and if you care you can email me because it’s a long, boring story that none of you would really care about. I promise.

So here’s the deal. TNB eats a lot. I think we all know that based on the pictures of her, and her record-setting weight. Anyway, since she’s been born I’ve been losing weight. Like… a lot of weight. Normally that wouldn’t bother me. Except my clothes don’t fit. And people are noticing. And I don’t feel quite like myself. I’ve been trying to up the number of calories I eat. I eat all day everyday, and don’t worry about how fatty things are. I eat a bowl of ice cream every night. And yet? I’m still losing about 2 pounds a week. Consistently.

Lots of people tell me how lucky I am to lose my baby weight so quickly. And it’s true. I am lucky that with both kids I’ve bounced back to myself pretty quickly. But this time, I haven’t stopped. I’m currently 10 pounds lighter than I was when I got married. Only about 5 pounds heavier than my freshman year of high school. 5 pounds away from high school weight and I’m two babies down. Lucky? Or cursed?? Lots of people would say lucky. But I don’t look at it that way. I don’t feel good. I have very little energy. I’m not sleepy, but I’m tired all day everyday.

Size 4 shorts I bought before getting pregnant with M

So when I heard that pfizer had a dietician onsite at BlogHer, I decided to go chat with her. I sat down and felt tears welling up in my eyes. I had no clue what was going on. This isn’t a big deal. Who goes to a dietician to find out how to gain weight? She’s probably going to tell me to get off her couch and go eat a cheeseburger. Why was I crying?!?!? I started talking and tears started streaming down my face. Which, if you’ve been to BlogHer you know the expo hall has probably on average 1500 people in it at a time… and here I am bawling my eyes out. Which made me super embarrassed… which made me cry harder. I was a hot mess.

The dietician did have a lot of suggestions for me. Not only did she not kick me off her couch, she hugged me, she told me I wasn’t the only one to cry (probably a lie), and she said she understood why this is so stressful and remarked it probably only gets worse when everyone says “oh you’re so lucky to be able to lose weight like that!” She gave me a list of a few healthy fats that she wants me to add into my diet. She also suggested I continue drinking whole milk (I switched to whole when I was pregnant with TNB and lost a bunch of weight during my first trimester… and haven’t gone back yet since I’ve been losing weight like a crazy person), but also add in coconut milk. She told me to try and drink my milk inbetween meals so that it doesn’t fill me up during meals. She also suggested I go to a general practitioner and get some bloodwork done. She has a pretty good feeling that my thyroid is acting up. As it turns out, my Mom had this issue after I was born (except hers unfortunately went the other way).

I believe her exact medical words were that the baby’s thyroid can take over when you’re pregnant. And then the baby comes out and your thyroid is all ?????!!?????? and forgets how to work. She also wants me to have a few other tests run just to test some levels but she said she’d put a pretty good wager on hypo-thyroid. So that’s what’s up. My thyroid is crazy and I’m losing weight and I cried all over myself about it in front of 1500 people. Sweet.

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5 Responses to I cried. I blogged.

  1. Lindsay N. says:

    Yes, you’re lucky to have lost the baby weight – but if you’re not feeling quite yourself, it’s definitely something you should get checked out! I’ve heard of this ‘issue’ before/thyroid acting up. I hope things get sorted out soon. And, don’t worry about crying – I’m a huuuuge crier, and some people make fun of me for it….but I’m ok with that. Sometimes, you just have to let it all out with a good cry!

  2. Sara says:

    Well I still think you look super cute but definitely! Get yourself checked out. You gotta be strong enough to lift two kiddos :)

  3. Veronica says:

    hmm *scratches chin* I think your thyroid issues may also be to blame for my increasing girth. Fuck yo thyroid! Seriously thought glad you took initiative and I wanna know how it turns out.

  4. MomEinstein says:

    Hi Beth, I met you at the pumping party at Blogher. I had no idea that you were going through this. It’s so easy to forget the other side of weight issues. I hope your thyroid gets back in gear soon!

    Btw, your kids & blog are both adorable! I’m adding you to my google reader. :-)

  5. Hugs, mama!!! I’m glad you got to talk to someone about it and it sounds like you needed a good cry so I hope that helped too. Keep us updated! Love you!

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